Pens and Pencils Are Erotic

So today I’ve decided to come out.  It’s time to admit my dirty-little-secret.  I am a pen addict.

How did I find the strength to admit this to the whole of the Internets?  Through the care and compassion of my family, and through the realization that I am not alone. The are others like me.

Armed with this new strength, I would like to share just some of my collection with you.  Keep in mind this is just the “working” part of my collection.  One day I might be ready to showcase the entirety of my “stationery store” as my wife calls it… but this is not that time.

I’ve learned that there is no such thing as “one pen for every occasion.”  Whoever tells you that is a liar, a damn dirty liar.  There is a pen for each occasion.  And in my case its important to have a backup for that pen, and a backup for that backup.

My Pants Pens

These three devices are currently riding with me wherever I go.  Right now I’m riding with a Zebra G-301 Stainless Steel Gel pen, which is great for signing receipts at restaurants, jotting notes, and other uses.  Along with the Zebra are two mechanical pencils.  I’ve recently started using mechanical pencils more, I enjoy the precision they allow.  I bring a Staedtler 9505 .5mm with me (blue lead) and a Stanford Logo 4 .7mm (standard lead).  I’m only slightly ashamed to admit I’ve already ordered a Pentel PS535 which is a classic 20 year old design, a true pencil lover’s pencil. The 535 will probably replace the Logo 4 as its a bit large for daily pocket carry.

These pens sit in the little pen pockets of my laptop bag.

Next up are the primary daily-note takers.  At meetings I will typically grab one of these, rotating to keep them fresh — or if I have a particular desire, I will cheat and go right for one of them.  From left to right: Uni alpha-gel, Pentel EnerGel .7mm Rollerball, Zebra Kendo Gel .7mm (this pen rules, I love the clip), Staedtler Liquid Point 7 (Great fine tip, good inkflow, I bought 16 of these when they were on sale at Staples), and a Pilot G-2 .7mm.

These are the pens I use at my desk. I carry them in a pencil case inside my laptop bag.

I like have lots of color and ink options when working at my desk for taking notes, planning, and working on concepts.  From left to right: Uni-ball Vision Elite (Blue/fine), Uni Jetstream Alpha Gel (a recent purchase, very weighty and elegant), Pilot G-2 .7mm in Light Blue, Brown, and Green, Pilot Hi-Tec-C .4mm (everyone has to have a Hi-Tec-C), Zebra Kendo Gel .7mm Red, Sharpie Pen Blue/Fine, Uni-ball Deluxe Rollerball Black/fine, and a Telescoping Zebra Gel (don’t know the model name for this pen, my wife got it from overseas).

These are my backup and special needs pens. They're in my bag for certain circumstances.

I only take these out when I need them.  If I need a full range of colors I have a set of 8 Uni-ball Vision Elites Bold, next is a Staedtler Riptide .5mm pencil (if the pencils in my pants are unavailable, or I need a backup), Pilot V Razor Point Extra fine (this was recently regulated to backup status after I got the Sharpie Pen), Uni-ball JetStream 1.0mm Black (the Backup to my Uni alpha-gel Jetstream), a cheap PaperMate Flexgrip Elite (this is what I loan out when someone I don’t know asks for a pen.  Always have a cheapie or two to loan), Zebra Clip-on Multi 5-way pen, and lastly Pentech Sensor .7mm Pencil (another backup).

So that’s it.  If you see me with my laptop bag, know that I’ve got 32 pens and pencils with me.  Shoot, I just realized I should have a Sharpie marker in there.  Make that 33.

Firefly

Decided to watch Firefly over again, it’s been awhile.  Firefly is probably one of the best series ever canceled by an idiot TV network. Plus it has 3 amazing actresses: Morena Baccarin, Jewel Staite and Summer Glau.  Plus it’s the only program I know that truly fits into the amazing “Space Western” category.

“Best ship in the ‘verse.”

I hear Morena Baccarin is going to be in the “V” remake, which could be pretty good if done correctly.

Holy Crap “Taken” is Awesome

Just saw Taken tonight.  Amazing film, exceeded my expectations.  Liam needs to play a bad-ass mo’fo’ more often.

I read some reviews saying it was formualiac.  This is just the type of crap people who post film reviews have to say because it’s impossible for them to actually like any movie.

Taken follows a path yes, but it over-delivers in every aspect, giving you exactly what you want — and more. There are no moments where you want to shout “JUST SHOOT THE BASTARD!” because Liam is already taking care of business.

I was a happy zombie watching this movie. Highly recommended.

In and Out Burger is Crap

Fantastic Grease

Everyone in Southern California is always going crazy-gaga for In and Out Burger.  Listen, I understand, it’s a pretty fantastic burger.  But it’s also totally overrated.  Why?  Let me tell you why:

1. There is always a line.  It doesn’t matter when you go, there will be a line.  Once you get inside, there won’t be any tables.
2. The most popular restaurants are the old ones with only drive-thrus, and they are even more annoying because you’re sitting in your car waiting with a bunch of other losers to yell into a speaker.
3. The In and Out Mystique is stupid.  Bible quotes on the cups and secret menu items!  Shut up.  You’re dumb.  Anyone who talks about that “one time” they ordered the 8×8 and ate the whole thing because they were really drunk is a freaking moron.
4. When you get down to it.  It’s just a cheeseburger and fries.  They are usually really greasy, and they taste alright, but its nothing to write home about.

People, if you want a burger, don’t make a big deal about going to In-and-Out.  Don’t talk about how you had to drive SO FAR to get there, or how you’re willing to do anything for that stupid “double double attack.”  It’s over, done.  Move on.

Taco Breath

If you are looking for tacos in Los Angeles, I can highly recommend a local chain known as “King Taco”.  They have a super ghetto website up at: www.kingtaco.com.  (Their resturants are only slightly less ghetto).  Its not really about the artistic style of their interior, its about the absolutly authentic and truly excellent mexican food. 

Highlights of the menu include the Chicken tacos, and the Breakfast Burritos (sadly only served in the mornings).  Check it out and let me know what you think.

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The Academy Awards

It’s dangerous these days.  You’re out there, cruising the Internet, writing comments, posting on forums.  Watching the You-Tubes.  Then BAM!  LAWSUIT!

“What did I do?” you ask.  All I did was post some comments about the Oscars® and my favorite celebrities.  Well you stupid bastard.  You got sued for trademark infringement!  What are you going to do?  

Here’s what you’re going to do.  You’re going to learn two codes: “®” and “©”.  And you’re going to use those every time you even DARE to type the words “Oscar®” or “The Academy Awards®” or (heaven-forbid you infringing bastard) “The Superbowl®”.  Because if you don’t give the powerful companies behind these trademarks their little R’s and C’s, they will hunt you down, and they will find you.  And they will take away all the food from your grandma, and her home, and her little doggy companion.  AND THEY WILL PUT HER OUT ON THE STREET.  

Don’t fuck with them.  They will fuck with you.

(All trademarks used in the above listed post are owned by their respective owners.  No endorsement of this website, or any other product or service is either expressed or implied by the use of the above listed Trademarks.)

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Don’t h8te the Erotic Zombie

Listen, we might not be friends yet, but we’re at least frienemys.  I think it’s important that this stage of our relationship that we lay down a few ground rules:

1. It’s highly likely I’m going to offend you.
2. If you live in Los Angeles, you’re probably going to have more fun hating on me in the comments then if you don’t.  Why?  Because you’ll know what I’m talking about.
3. I accept guest submissions, but they must be accompanied by a full-body nude photo of you, or a pet.
4. I’m not a trendy, d-bag hipster who lives in Silverlake.  I live in Pasadena.  Listen, I’m tired of you idiots who think Pasadena is full of grandmas and people who are afraid to live in Santa Monica or Venice. More on this later.
5. The 405 is the worst freeway in the world.  

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