Listen, we might not be friends yet, but we’re at least frienemys. I think it’s important that this stage of our relationship that we lay down a few ground rules:
- It’s highly likely I’m going to offend you.
- If you live in Los Angeles, you’re probably going to have more fun hating on me in the comments then if you don’t. Why? Because you’ll know what I’m talking about.
- I accept guest submissions, but they must be accompanied by a full-body nude photo of you, or a pet.
- I’m not a trendy, d-bag hipster who lives in Silverlake. I live in Pasadena. Listen, I’m tired of you idiots who think Pasadena is full of grandmas and people who are afraid to live in Santa Monica or Venice. More on this later.
- The 405 is the worst freeway in the world.
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